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| Top 5 All Time Top 5 Reasons I Suck At Halo, Halo 2 And Any Related Hybrid | | 1. I don't live at 6107 Arlington Dr. | | 2. Who FUCKING Cares !!! | | 3. I'm not a loser that dates fat chics | | 4. I cannot extrapolate 3-D space from 2-D visual information | | 5. The controller hurts my feelings | Don't agree? Go vote, comment or view other Top 5 lists.
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| But Still No Comments :) |
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| By Ukneeq @ 08:27 pm PDT on 5.11.2009 |
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LOL...just thought I would rain on your parade. Nice to be able to post big pics now that no one can comment on :)
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| New Feature: Images Up To 800px Wide! |
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| By anaxis @ 10:34 am PDT on 5.11.2009 |
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You can now upload images up to 800px wide. Yay. Carry on.
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| I Fucking Hate Jacques Cousteau - And 99 Other Oceanographic Blasphemies |
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| By anaxis @ 12:37 pm PDT on 3.08.2009 |
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I fucking hate Jacques Cousteau. He thinks he's so fucking smart and funny and knows all this shit about fish and shit. Like you even need to know anything about fish from a fucking french fuck. Fucking Jacques Cousteau.
And speaking of fish and what you need to know about them, here's the official list of "Things You Should Know About Fish":
1. They live in the fucking water.
2. Some of them are fucking tasty.
3. The rest can fuck off.
Also, one point that never made the list, but is none the less pretty fucking important is what you call them. They are called fish. Do you hear me PETA? They're fucking called fish, not "sea kittens", you fucking, Jacques-Cousteau-loving ass hats. Don't you people have anything better to do than rename the primary ingrediant in sushi? Isn't there a batch of supermodels you need to photograph in the nude to protest fur coats? Where do you people come up with this shit? If god didn't want us to eat meat, wear fur or fuck sheep, he wouldn't have made those fuckers so tasty, or so warm and soft, or so moist and lubricated. And if there was no god, then the whole point is moot since we're obviously the species most evolutionarily adapted to eat, wear and fuck animals. And guess what? There is no god.
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Dear Gipple,
Well it is that time of year again. Halloween is just a couple of days away. Here is my problem. My girlfriend and I are going to a party on Halloween. The other day she decided to show me her costume. Imagine my suprise when she came into the room wearing nothing but a pair of knee high boots. I asked her what the kind of costume that was, and she simply replied that she was going to the party as "puss-in-boots". Now I don't know what to do. I've got to think of a costume so crazy that it will take attention from men oogling my girlfriend all night. What do you recommend Gipple?
Signed,
Costumeless Carl in Carlsbad
Dear Carl,
First off, nothing you can will stop the men from looking. Chances are you are a pimple faced little turd who asked her to move in with you after the first date. So she is probably better off with one of those other guys any way.
Secondly, based on the fact that your woman walked into the room wearing nothing but boots and the only thing you could think of to do was ask her what kind of costume that was leads me to believe that you my friend are a closet case ass pirate. Maybe you should just hookup your slutty girlfriend with some guy nicknamed "banana-hands" at the party, and then go find some man meat of your own.
Now to your question. You need to think to yourself...WWGD. What would Gipple do. And let me tell you what Gipple would do. Listen close, you might learn something. Go to the store, and buy yourself a large bakers potato. Come home, and and drill a hole down the center of the potato. Now taked the cored out spud, and gently slide it over your "unit". Given the text of your question, I am guessing you should probably drill a pretty small hole. Now, when your woman sees that and asks what you are supposed to be, tell her you are going as a dictator. And never fear, is this makes your woman so angry that she does leave the party with old "banana-hands", atleast your costume should help you land that emotinaly charged stud bull you and I know you have always been looking.
As always,
Gipple
Submit questions or pleas for advice here.
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I wonder what a page in his day planner looks like.
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