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| Top 5 All Time Names For Our Bar | | 1. Saints and Sinners | | 2. The Boondocks | | 3. The Saints Bar | | 4. Confessions | | 5. the crotcheteria | Don't agree? Go vote, comment or view other Top 5 lists.
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| The Ongoing Story Of Ian |
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| By hellsbane @ 02:55 pm PDT on 3.11.2008 |
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After almost 5 years of being together, my wife told me last night that she was not happy. She has never been happy with the life we created together. She doesn't want to own a house or have the suburbanite life we jointly undertook. Also last night, she packed up her shit and moved to Las Cruses, NM to stay with friends for a few months while she tries to decide is she wants to come back to our family or just come back and get a place in the area where she can still see our 15 month old son, who is here with me. I know I don't see or talk to many of you much anymore but I thought you might be interested in the science of it at least. Through this discovery I can now say without a doubt that it takes less than 3 hours to turn a life inside out. Anyway, have a beer for me and toast life's many perversions. Cheers!
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| NSFW: no | Comments: 12 [Post]
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Dear Gipple,
Well it is that time of year again. Halloween is just a couple of days away. Here is my problem. My girlfriend and I are going to a party on Halloween. The other day she decided to show me her costume. Imagine my suprise when she came into the room wearing nothing but a pair of knee high boots. I asked her what the kind of costume that was, and she simply replied that she was going to the party as "puss-in-boots". Now I don't know what to do. I've got to think of a costume so crazy that it will take attention from men oogling my girlfriend all night. What do you recommend Gipple?
Signed,
Costumeless Carl in Carlsbad
Dear Carl,
First off, nothing you can will stop the men from looking. Chances are you are a pimple faced little turd who asked her to move in with you after the first date. So she is probably better off with one of those other guys any way.
Secondly, based on the fact that your woman walked into the room wearing nothing but boots and the only thing you could think of to do was ask her what kind of costume that was leads me to believe that you my friend are a closet case ass pirate. Maybe you should just hookup your slutty girlfriend with some guy nicknamed "banana-hands" at the party, and then go find some man meat of your own.
Now to your question. You need to think to yourself...WWGD. What would Gipple do. And let me tell you what Gipple would do. Listen close, you might learn something. Go to the store, and buy yourself a large bakers potato. Come home, and and drill a hole down the center of the potato. Now taked the cored out spud, and gently slide it over your "unit". Given the text of your question, I am guessing you should probably drill a pretty small hole. Now, when your woman sees that and asks what you are supposed to be, tell her you are going as a dictator. And never fear, is this makes your woman so angry that she does leave the party with old "banana-hands", atleast your costume should help you land that emotinaly charged stud bull you and I know you have always been looking.
As always,
Gipple
Submit questions or pleas for advice here.
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