|
|
|
|
| Top 5 All Time Best Movie Lines And Phrases | | 1. Lo there do I see my Father,
Lo there do I see my Mother,
Lo there do I see my Sisters and my Brothers.
I see the line of my people back to the beginning,
They do call to me, to take my place,
In the halls of Valhalla,
Where the Brave may live Forever.
-The Thirteenth Warrior | | 2. "You just listen to the ol' Pork Chop Express an' take his advise on a dark and stormy night. When some wild-eyed eight-foot tall maniac grabs your neck an' taps the back of your favorite head up against the barroom wall. An' he looks you crooked in the eye an' asks if you've paid your dues. You look right back at that big sucker an' remember what Jack Burton always says at times like that. Have you paid your dues, Jack? Yes, sir the check is in the mail"
-Big Trouble in Little China | | 3. And shepherds we shall be, for thee, my lord, for thee.
Power hath descended forth from thy hand.
That our feet may swiftly carry out thy command.
So we shall flow a river forth to thee.
And teeming with souls shall it ever be.
In nomine patrie, et fili, et spiritu sancti.
-The Boondock Saints
| | 4. You know, there's a million fine looking women in the world, dude. But they don't all bring you lasagna at work. Most of 'em just cheat on you.
-Clerks | | 5. You are not your job. You are not the money in your bank account. You are not the car you drive. You are not how much money is in your wallet. You are not your fucking khakis. You are the all-singing, all-dancing crap of the world.
-Fight Club
| Don't agree? Go vote, comment or view other Top 5 lists.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Operators Are Standing By...
Tell me how your feeling, send me hate mail, submit suggestions for content/features/contests,
apply to be an anaxified.com contributor or do whatever you want here.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Dear Gipple,
Well it is that time of year again. Halloween is just a couple of days away. Here is my problem. My girlfriend and I are going to a party on Halloween. The other day she decided to show me her costume. Imagine my suprise when she came into the room wearing nothing but a pair of knee high boots. I asked her what the kind of costume that was, and she simply replied that she was going to the party as "puss-in-boots". Now I don't know what to do. I've got to think of a costume so crazy that it will take attention from men oogling my girlfriend all night. What do you recommend Gipple?
Signed,
Costumeless Carl in Carlsbad
Dear Carl,
First off, nothing you can will stop the men from looking. Chances are you are a pimple faced little turd who asked her to move in with you after the first date. So she is probably better off with one of those other guys any way.
Secondly, based on the fact that your woman walked into the room wearing nothing but boots and the only thing you could think of to do was ask her what kind of costume that was leads me to believe that you my friend are a closet case ass pirate. Maybe you should just hookup your slutty girlfriend with some guy nicknamed "banana-hands" at the party, and then go find some man meat of your own.
Now to your question. You need to think to yourself...WWGD. What would Gipple do. And let me tell you what Gipple would do. Listen close, you might learn something. Go to the store, and buy yourself a large bakers potato. Come home, and and drill a hole down the center of the potato. Now taked the cored out spud, and gently slide it over your "unit". Given the text of your question, I am guessing you should probably drill a pretty small hole. Now, when your woman sees that and asks what you are supposed to be, tell her you are going as a dictator. And never fear, is this makes your woman so angry that she does leave the party with old "banana-hands", atleast your costume should help you land that emotinaly charged stud bull you and I know you have always been looking.
As always,
Gipple
Submit questions or pleas for advice here.
|
|
|
![[Valid RSS]](/img_com/valid-rss.png "Validate my RSS feed")