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Kaption Kontest2: Who Wants Spam? by anaxis.

@mosfear shot a load in her mouth and then said, "Ok this is how it is...cause of the FMIC the evo lancer is going to loose mad horsepower when it shows up...also its gonna cost ppl the buy the lancer upwards of 4 grand to get high flow cats for the sucker due to no direct companies making lancer parts in the states yet...the new wastegate spring wont do anything except kill your turbo and plus the lancer has its own EBC which will tune it...the MBC you talk about will help a little but the injectors for the lancer are only rated for 15.3 lbs of boost which dosent give you much play. Plus the crappy yaw control will play with your head when your going around a corner and the car does what it wants...all in all the Lancers prospected hp when it comes over is a bit over 200hp due to cat loss and , like i said earlier, no FMIC...mitsubishi did not plan on having such strict laws and the 5mph bumper law is raping them as if they were in jail. As for the WRX tranny being like china...subaru makes one of if not the best AWD tranny on the market today. I know and have seen so many ppl that race their WRX's constantly and do clutch drops every ten seconds. The only problem with the WRX tranny is the damn 1st gear syncho...i hate that fucking thing...its really annoying when you have to double clutch just to get into first. So all in all, if i was gonna *wait* for a car i would wait for the STI to show its head...now thats a real car. Or even the US version of the Skyline GTR, its no r43 engine but it will crank out some horses :)"
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Dear Gipple,
Well it is that time of year again. Halloween is just a couple of days away. Here is my problem. My girlfriend and I are going to a party on Halloween. The other day she decided to show me her costume. Imagine my suprise when she came into the room wearing nothing but a pair of knee high boots. I asked her what the kind of costume that was, and she simply replied that she was going to the party as "puss-in-boots". Now I don't know what to do. I've got to think of a costume so crazy that it will take attention from men oogling my girlfriend all night. What do you recommend Gipple?
Signed,
Costumeless Carl in Carlsbad

Dear Carl,
First off, nothing you can will stop the men from looking. Chances are you are a pimple faced little turd who asked her to move in with you after the first date. So she is probably better off with one of those other guys any way. Secondly, based on the fact that your woman walked into the room wearing nothing but boots and the only thing you could think of to do was ask her what kind of costume that was leads me to believe that you my friend are a closet case ass pirate. Maybe you should just hookup your slutty girlfriend with some guy nicknamed "banana-hands" at the party, and then go find some man meat of your own. Now to your question. You need to think to yourself...WWGD. What would Gipple do. And let me tell you what Gipple would do. Listen close, you might learn something. Go to the store, and buy yourself a large bakers potato. Come home, and and drill a hole down the center of the potato. Now taked the cored out spud, and gently slide it over your "unit". Given the text of your question, I am guessing you should probably drill a pretty small hole. Now, when your woman sees that and asks what you are supposed to be, tell her you are going as a dictator. And never fear, is this makes your woman so angry that she does leave the party with old "banana-hands", atleast your costume should help you land that emotinaly charged stud bull you and I know you have always been looking. As always,
Gipple

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