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3.10.2010

Top 5 All Time Top 5 Things I Would Do Right Now If I Were Osama Bin Laden
1. Have as much sex as I could.
2. Look into purchasing new headgear
3. Drip acid in your eye sockets until it melts through to your brain
4. Bust out the KY Jelly
5. Hide in a cave somewhere in Afghanistan

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Have A Coke And A Vertical Smile! by LushLife.

dirtybastahd said, "I seem to remember seeing something to that effect. It's the same reason that you get a static shock when getting out of a car in the winter. I recall when I was a kid and that never used to happen, and a tire guy at Firestone explained it to me when I asked. He said something to the effect that it's all in the components used in the construction of today's tires. Original steel-belted radials were able to ground out the static buildup generated by a traveling car (air friction, etc.) but new alloys and materials don't contuct electricity nearly as well as in the past, so the car develops a static potential that discharges when the occupants ground it out. That could be what causes the above situation. Sucks, huh?"
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Dear Gipple,
Well it is that time of year again. Halloween is just a couple of days away. Here is my problem. My girlfriend and I are going to a party on Halloween. The other day she decided to show me her costume. Imagine my suprise when she came into the room wearing nothing but a pair of knee high boots. I asked her what the kind of costume that was, and she simply replied that she was going to the party as "puss-in-boots". Now I don't know what to do. I've got to think of a costume so crazy that it will take attention from men oogling my girlfriend all night. What do you recommend Gipple?
Signed,
Costumeless Carl in Carlsbad

Dear Carl,
First off, nothing you can will stop the men from looking. Chances are you are a pimple faced little turd who asked her to move in with you after the first date. So she is probably better off with one of those other guys any way. Secondly, based on the fact that your woman walked into the room wearing nothing but boots and the only thing you could think of to do was ask her what kind of costume that was leads me to believe that you my friend are a closet case ass pirate. Maybe you should just hookup your slutty girlfriend with some guy nicknamed "banana-hands" at the party, and then go find some man meat of your own. Now to your question. You need to think to yourself...WWGD. What would Gipple do. And let me tell you what Gipple would do. Listen close, you might learn something. Go to the store, and buy yourself a large bakers potato. Come home, and and drill a hole down the center of the potato. Now taked the cored out spud, and gently slide it over your "unit". Given the text of your question, I am guessing you should probably drill a pretty small hole. Now, when your woman sees that and asks what you are supposed to be, tell her you are going as a dictator. And never fear, is this makes your woman so angry that she does leave the party with old "banana-hands", atleast your costume should help you land that emotinaly charged stud bull you and I know you have always been looking. As always,
Gipple

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