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| Top 5 All Time Greatest Ways To Get Out Of Work. | | 1. Shoot your boss in the face with a cross-bow then black-mail him for $500,000 a week. | | 2. Tell your boss that you're having the greatest sex of your life. | | 3. Call in a bomb threat... then nobody has to go. | | 4. Phone in dead. | | 5. HEY IF THEW BOSS IS A HOTTY INVITE HER OVER FOR SEX. | Don't agree? Go vote, comment or view other Top 5 lists.
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| Shit, Piss, Fuck, Cunt, CockSucker, MotherFucker, And Tits: Good Bye George |
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| By anaxis @ 08:26 am PDT on 6.23.2008 |
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Not often do I actually feel bad about a celebrity death, but the news of George Carlin passing away makes me sad. He was a funny motherfucker, who derived pleasure from making people laugh uncomfortably and/or uncontrollably with crude, sexist, politically incorrect humor. I find his stance on religion abso-fucking-lutely spot on.
If I had a 40, I'd pour some out on the floor for ya' George.
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| Kaption Kontest 88: Gettin' Down With Mao |
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| By anaxis @ 01:39 pm PDT on 6.20.2008 |
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Caption this picture of a Korean dictator frolicking about with monsters. 
How you rike me now, Hans Brix?!?!?! - submitted by anaxis
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| Kaption Kontest 87: Topical And Funny |
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| By anaxis @ 10:14 am PDT on 6.06.2008 |
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by request of the jkat 
We are having a swingers party later. Ask Bill if he wants to come.
- submitted by LordSquishy
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Xbox Rocks by SinCollector.
Maven popped, "18 year program for the hydrogen powered car.... yeah, instead of maybe say putting smaller engines in SUV's now.... and helping the enviroment now...... instead of wasting money on something he won't be around to finsish.... because god forbid he do anything against big business now.... bush is a moron and although is trying to create a more "powerful" country is wreaking the enviroment, and creatign a place normal people wouldn't want to live."
[Full Story]
Get a weeks worth of random crap right here!
Warning: Randomly generated content may not be safe for work.
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Dear Gipple,
Well it is that time of year again. Halloween is just a couple of days away. Here is my problem. My girlfriend and I are going to a party on Halloween. The other day she decided to show me her costume. Imagine my suprise when she came into the room wearing nothing but a pair of knee high boots. I asked her what the kind of costume that was, and she simply replied that she was going to the party as "puss-in-boots". Now I don't know what to do. I've got to think of a costume so crazy that it will take attention from men oogling my girlfriend all night. What do you recommend Gipple?
Signed,
Costumeless Carl in Carlsbad
Dear Carl,
First off, nothing you can will stop the men from looking. Chances are you are a pimple faced little turd who asked her to move in with you after the first date. So she is probably better off with one of those other guys any way.
Secondly, based on the fact that your woman walked into the room wearing nothing but boots and the only thing you could think of to do was ask her what kind of costume that was leads me to believe that you my friend are a closet case ass pirate. Maybe you should just hookup your slutty girlfriend with some guy nicknamed "banana-hands" at the party, and then go find some man meat of your own.
Now to your question. You need to think to yourself...WWGD. What would Gipple do. And let me tell you what Gipple would do. Listen close, you might learn something. Go to the store, and buy yourself a large bakers potato. Come home, and and drill a hole down the center of the potato. Now taked the cored out spud, and gently slide it over your "unit". Given the text of your question, I am guessing you should probably drill a pretty small hole. Now, when your woman sees that and asks what you are supposed to be, tell her you are going as a dictator. And never fear, is this makes your woman so angry that she does leave the party with old "banana-hands", atleast your costume should help you land that emotinaly charged stud bull you and I know you have always been looking.
As always,
Gipple
Submit questions or pleas for advice here.
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Yes. Behold it. It is a hat. Made of bananas. it provides shade from the sun, and a naturally tasty snack. All on my head. Aw yeah. Bet you wish you had a banana hat, but you don't. So fuck you. Don't be drawing any comparisons to that Carmen fruit-head bitch, cause she was dirty bitch with herpes and many fruits on her head. All the fruits are inferior to the banana. Thus why my hat is made only of bananas. It's a banana hat. It's the epitome of awesome tastiness and sweet-ass fashion. Behold, my banana hat!
Having fun at work? Enjoying those ridiculous banner ads you're supposed to have done by 3 today? Can't wait to skip lunch and work, work, work? Then don't play 
I love lamp!